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For many families, the word college can bring equal parts excitement and anxiety—especially when you’re not sure when to start the conversation or what really matters along the way. To help cut through the noise, we sat down college counselor María José Lamadrid to ask the questions parents and students are actually wondering about: how to talk about college without pressure, how to prepare early without burning out, and what colleges truly look for beyond grades and test scores. Her answers offer thoughtful, grounded advice for families navigating the college journey together.

PIQE: How can parents start meaningful and age-appropriate conversations about college with their children?

María José Lamadrid: Your best approach is to steer clear of the most stressful aspects of college when starting these conversations. For 8th or 9th graders, I recommend visiting a local college—whether it’s for a show, a basketball game, anything that your child may connect to and feel inspired by. Experiences like these can spark curiosity and inspiration, and naturally open the door to conversations about what they liked, what stood out to them, the type of university they can imagine themselves attending, and the steps they may need to take to get there.

When they come home from school or extracurriculars, ask open-ended questions about their day—starting with what their favorite part was. Follow up by asking what they enjoyed about it or why it felt meaningful. Note what topics make their eyes spark, nudge them to try to do more to explore those areas. This will help them reflect on how they choose to spend their time outside of the classroom. Most importantly, let them be teens! You may only get one-word answers one day but keep it up, there will be days when they play along and those conversations add up. Beyond being helpful for college, these thoughtful exchanges strengthen your relationship. 

PIQE: What can families do in middle school or early high school to prepare for college?

MJL: It’s important to understand the context of your child’s school by reviewing the school profile, when available. This includes information such as how many Advanced Placement courses the average student graduates with, the average GPA, and average SAT scores. This information provides a useful benchmark; your child should aim to perform above those averages if they can.

If your school does not publish a profile, these are excellent questions to ask your college counselor, who includes this information into the CommonApp (an online application that allows students to apply to hundreds of colleges using a single form) to submit school reports.

PIQE: How important is course selection (AP, honors, dual enrollment) in high school?

MJL: Course selection is extremely important. When you review a college’s Common Data Set—specifically Section C7—you’ll see that the first factor considered in admission decisions is “rigor of secondary school record,” and it is rarely rated below “very important.” Colleges want to see students seeking to challenge themselves, especially in the courses that are related to their intended majors. 

Students should challenge themselves early, if they can handle the course load, since honors programs tend to be prerequisites for more advanced courses. Some of the most competitive majors, such as engineering, may require students to have taken advanced courses in related subjects.

If your child struggles in these courses, avoid pushing them to the point of burnout. It’s important to recognize the difference between a student who is challenged but capable of succeeding and one who is being pushed beyond what is healthy or productive. Your child’s mental health and wellbeing should always come first; there are thousands of options available where they will find the right fit.

PIQE: How can students explore potential majors or career paths before applying?

MJL: Students should seek what sparks their curiosity and interest; they should challenge themselves to create an impact in any activity or community they choose to join. My favorite method is to pick their dream career, then look it up on LinkedIn to see what those job descriptions look like. If they want to go further, I encourage them to send a short introductory email and ask for a virtual 20-minute coffee chat to learn more about a job they would like to have. They don’t need to know this person, and parents can supervise the video call. This helps students imagine what their life in that career might look like. Talking with people in their dream careers helps them understand that a major is not necessarily the same thing as a career.

PIQE: What do colleges and universities look for in applicants beyond grades and test scores?

MJL: They look for students who are aligned with their values and who will be active contributors to their community. Since most programs in the U.S. are residential colleges and universities, they aim to build a community—not just admit the most impressive academic minds. They need actors for theatrical productions, athletes for sports teams, students to lead student organizations, and people who will make great roommates. This is where the unquantifiable character and personal qualities that shine through essays, recommendations, and extracurriculars play an important role in applications.

PIQE: Do leadership roles or community service make a difference?

MJL: More than titles or roles, the impact you make in your community can make a difference once your academic profile has made the cut. Demonstrating a track record of meaningful contribution in the spaces you’re part of shows how you might contribute to a university’s community in the future.

You can make an impact right in your own neighborhood by identifying a problem that resonates with you and taking action to address it. Are you frustrated by potholes on your street? Call your local representative and make a case for why this issue deserves immediate attention. Or, if you’re excited about rockets, organize a rocket-building activity at your school. The opportunities are endless.

PIQE: What makes a college application stand out?

MJL: When it is so authentic no one else could have written it. If your name were removed, someone who knows you would instantly recognize it as yours. One of the most common misconceptions is that students and parents often focus on “How do I get into X or Y school?” Instead, forget the school for a moment. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? Then, find the schools that fit YOU and your goals—not the other way around.

PIQE: What should families consider when choosing between acceptance offers?

MJL: First, is the school within your budget? Next, revisit your top criteria for selecting colleges. How does each school meet your criteria? What do you like about each, and what concerns do you have? Finally, create a weighted pros-and-cons list: assign a value to each criterion and rate how each school performs in those areas. If you’re still undecided and it’s within your means, attend “Admit Weekends” to get a feel for the college “vibe” and meet potential classmates. You can also join virtual class groups to connect with students from home.

PIQE: If you could give families one piece of advice about preparing for college, what would it be?

MJL: Make finances and your college budget part of the conversation early, and use them as a top criterion when deciding where to apply by consulting each university’s Net Price Calculator. This can save your child the heartbreak of investing months of effort into a college or university that ultimately isn’t financially feasible.

PIQE: Why is college still important when we can learn so much from the internet?

MJL: The World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs 2025 report report highlights analytical thinking as the top skill employers seek, with 69% of respondents identifying it as a core workforce competency. College remains one of the best places to develop these cognitive skills, as it exposes students to multiple perspectives and diverse backgrounds. It challenges them to evaluate what aligns with their values and what does not, helping shape their identity as adults while strengthening critical thinking abilities.

Working with your school’s college counselor is essential for navigating the college application process successfully. They are your advocates and can only help as much as you allow them to. I recommend that families find out what support will be available in their college counseling journey as soon as high school begins in 9th grade. Attend the optional workshops, they exist for your benefit. This is the time to be a “try hard” and go the extra mile; it will pay off.

Your college counselor understands the specific trends at your school and the exact context in which your applications will be evaluated. They also write your counselor’s recommendation letter, which can only be informed by what they have witnessed and experienced working with you. Building a strong relationship with your counselor is one of the most valuable steps you can take.

María José Lamadrid graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in 2012 with a B.A. in Philosophy, Politics and Economics and a Concentration in Globalization. In March 2022, she completed the University of California San Diego’s Certification to become an independent educational consultant. She has been a part-time College Counselor for Preparatoria ALFA Fundación, a high school for high achieving, low-income students in Mexico since May 2024 and a full time college counselor at the American School Foundation of Monterrey since February 2025. She is also a member of the International Association of College Admissions Counselors, the Caribbean and LATAM Network, and Counselors in Mexico group.  

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For more tips and resources, visit the website: admitology.com and follow her on Instagram @admitology.