College is a major transition—not only for students, but for their parents, too.

For some families, sending a child to college is a journey into the unknown. Some parents never had the opportunity to attend college themselves, and for families who are new to this country, the experience can feel even more unfamiliar, naturally bringing questions and concerns about what their children will encounter.

For parents who did attend college, the experience may feel more familiar, but that doesn’t mean there is less to worry about. Their own college memories and expectations may shape how they see their children’s experience, even though college today can look very different from the one they remember.

At the heart of it, parents worry because they care. They want what is best for their children. They want to see them succeed, feel safe and find their place.

With that in mind, we invited five college students to share their perspectives on what life is really like on campus, what they wish their parents understood, and how families can offer support without adding to the pressure students already face. We hope their voices help families better understand the college experience and find ways to stay connected and supportive as their children take this important step toward independence.

Meet the Students

Isabella Lagarde
Architecture • University of San Diego• 4^th year in college

Alondra Ayala-Ramos
Psychology • CSU Stanislau• Last year in college

Marjorie Maxwell
Political Science • University of Las Vegas Nevada • 3^rd year in college

Sara Alejandra Valadez Trejo 
Business Administration • CSU Stanislaus State University  •  2^nd  year in College

Andrew Joseph Maxwell
Kinesiology and Criminology  • University of Las Vegas Nevada • 1^st year in college

What’s one thing you wish parents understood about the college experience today?

Isabella: One thing I wish parents understood is that college today is not the same as when they were in college. The way we make friends, deal with peer pressure, learn, communicate, and even experience relationships is so different now. We have social media constantly showing us what everyone else is doing, AI changing the way we learn, and so many more things happening at the same time. Sometimes I think parents compare their college experience to ours without realizing how much the environment itself has changed.

Alondra: One thing I wish my parents understood about the college experience today is how difficult it is to balance it all together. Yes, I understand that school is my priority, and I do prioritize it, but I also have to add work into that, along with my relationships and, most importantly, myself.

Andrew: Parents should understand the high financial cost of the modern college experience, as well as the significant challenge of balancing academic responsibilities with working a job.

Marjorie: Parents tend to view their students now as unmotivated and lazy. That we don’t take college as seriously and we don’t want serious careers, but I wish they understood that getting a degree is not as valuable in the job market as it used to be. It is the bare minimum for entry level work. So our relationship to the workload, the admissions process, and the financial strain of college gets harder and harder to treat as sacredly as our parents did. Especially with such sophisticated AI technology becoming commonplace at all levels of education but most obviously in higher education, we are taking on double the risk for half the payoff. As a result, the attitude towards college has reflected that.

What do parents often worry about that students don’t?

Isabella: I think parents sometimes worry about the things that they can see, like grades, classes, whether we’re going to graduate, or whether we’re making the right decisions, while there are so many things happening internally that they don’t necessarily see. Sometimes the things that stress me out the most aren’t even school itself, but relationships, friendships, figuring out my future, money, or just feeling like I’m falling behind in life. I think students sometimes carry a lot more emotionally than parents realize.       

 Alondra: I think one thing parents worry about that students may not always worry about as much is what comes next—our lives, our careers, and whether we’re on the right path. In my experience, I put a lot of pressure on myself to have a clear plan and know what my potential is.

Andrew: Parents often worry about their children’s social interactions, such as joining clubs and attending parties. In contrast, students focus less on that and worry more about maintaining good grades, attending class on time, and balancing work schedules with academic demands like homework and exams.

Sara: I feel that many parents can worry about life on campus. Many are concerned about the condition of the dorms, roommates, and their child being away from home and most likely alone. I find these to be reasonable concerns, but in many cases parents and students don't see the idea of life on campus the same way. I could argue that for students living on campus is an opportunity to be independent and learn to provide for themselves. It helps prepare them with valuable skills for the real world. Students also feel that they get the ability to go on adventures and grow as individuals.

What causes the most stress for college students today?

Isabella: I honestly think it's the pressure to have your whole life figured out when you're still figuring yourself out. You're expected to do well in school, get internships, build a resume, have a social life, maintain friendships and relationships, and somehow know what you want to do after graduation. And then you go on Instagram or TikTok and it feels like everyone else is doing better than you, which makes it really easy to feel like you're behind even when you're actually doing fine.

Alondra: I think what causes the most stress for college students today is an unhealthy environment. The course workload can be a lot and having a place where you don’t feel like you can reach your full potential can lead to that stress. 

Andrew: While it depends on the individual’s situation, a general source of stress is the high expectations set by family and friends. Students feel a lot of pressure to meet these expectations to avoid feeling like a failure.

Marjorie: I would say entering the post-grad job market and student loan debt. My friends who are close to graduating or have graduated recently all feel stressed about the prospects as the competition increasingly outpaces the job opportunities for new grads. As well as how to pay off debt post-graduation, as the cost of living goes up and the salaries stay the same. 

Sara: Throughout my few semesters in college, I can confidently say that one of the most stressful things college students face is choosing their classes each semester. Each class has different schedules, modalities whether it be online or in person, and at least three different professors offering the course. Students have to face the decision of choosing the time, modality, and professor that benefits them. Many times the classes they want or need to take are already filled up so they have to search for different ones that have availability. This part of the process can lead to frustration and in some cases can lead them to take less classes than they are required to or not fulfilling a requirement needed to graduate which can potentially set them back.

What’s one conversation you wish parents had with their students before college?

Isabella: I wish parents talked more about how much you’re going to change in college and that that’s okay. I think a lot of people go into college thinking they’re supposed to know who they are, what they want to do, who their friends are going to be, and what their life is going to look like. But in reality, you might change your major, lose friends, make completely new friends, have relationships that end, discover new interests, and realize that the person you were at 18 isn’t necessarily going to be the person you are when you graduate. 

Alondra: A conversation I wish parents had with their students before college is to let them know how proud they’ll be of them no matter what happens. I think that all college students feel some sort of pressure to not disappoint, and getting reassurance that failing sometimes is okay and changing is normal, will be a huge help. 

Andrew: I would say life after college. We are constantly taught what to do before and during college but rarely prepare for what happens next after we graduate and earn our degrees.

Marjorie: How important it is to start building professional relationships and getting involved in communities that give you opportunities to break into the field they want to work in post-college. Parents tend to put a lot of emphasis on the academics of college and not the professional resources that higher education provides students. While grades are important, they don't secure you with long-lasting networks which can be way more influential when establishing a career. 

Sara: For many students, going to college is their first experience living by themselves. Most students would benefit from their parents talking to them about strategies to help ease the stress of living alone. For example, they could talk to them about the best way to shop for groceries or how to implement a budget so they never have a problem with money. This is the type of advice that students will appreciate and will always thank their parents for teaching them.

If every parent could change one thing about how they support their college student, what would you recommend?

Alondra: I would recommend just listening about how they’re struggling and giving reassurance. I find it hard to talk to my parents about how much homework I have or how hard the subject is when all I get in return is “well this is what school is, and you’re gonna have to keep going.”

Andrew: I recommend offering both financial and mental support. Financial support helps ensure students do not graduate with massive debt. Mental support is equally crucial because college can be stressful and draining, and school counseling resources are often limited. Parents just need to offer comfort and reassure their children that things will work out.